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What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
3…2…1… blast off!!! When I grow up, I want to be an astronaut! I think that astronauts have an interesting job. They are interesting, because astronauts get to search the universe, for unique and interesting objects that nobody on earth has ever seen before. I was inspired mostly by watching space shuttles and rockets blast off into the air. I was also inspired by reading books about astronauts and space. I am preparing to be an astronaut by reading books, about astronaut’s daily life in space, and about some discoveries that some astronauts have made. Being an astronaut may have many side effects such as being lost in space, problem with the space shuttle, and many other things. But I will work hard and be an astronaut. So in the future I hope I see myself in a space suit standing in a space shuttle, and counting down to the blastoff.
your grammar is all messed up. And you can combine your two sentences to shorten it and make it sound better, such as:
I think that astronauts have an interesting job because they get to search the universe for unique and interesting objects that no one on earth has ever seen before.
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**and**
I was inspired to be an astronaut by watching space shuttles and rockets blast off into the air.
I am preparing to be an astronaut by reading books about astronauts’ daily life in space and about some discoveries that some astronauts have made.
**you see, you seem to be adding commas where they don’t belong. A way to correct yourself is to read your article out loud, and if you pause while reading, it means a comma belongs there. If not, you don’t need one. and I also added an apostrophy after astronauts’ like this because when you’re talking about more than one person, place, or thing’s belongings, you put an apostrophy there. Get it?**
Being an astronaut may have many side effects such as being lost in space, having problems with the space shuttle, and many other factors, but I will work hard to be an astronaut. In the future I hope to see myself in a space suit standing in a space shuttle, and counting down to blastoff.
**there you go, all proof read and edited =)**
2 Responses to “Is my article good, or does it need improvment?”
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it depends…if you are 13 years old or less it would be acceptable.
References :
your grammar is all messed up. And you can combine your two sentences to shorten it and make it sound better, such as:
I think that astronauts have an interesting job because they get to search the universe for unique and interesting objects that no one on earth has ever seen before.
**and**
I was inspired to be an astronaut by watching space shuttles and rockets blast off into the air.
I am preparing to be an astronaut by reading books about astronauts’ daily life in space and about some discoveries that some astronauts have made.
**you see, you seem to be adding commas where they don’t belong. A way to correct yourself is to read your article out loud, and if you pause while reading, it means a comma belongs there. If not, you don’t need one. and I also added an apostrophy after astronauts’ like this because when you’re talking about more than one person, place, or thing’s belongings, you put an apostrophy there. Get it?**
Being an astronaut may have many side effects such as being lost in space, having problems with the space shuttle, and many other factors, but I will work hard to be an astronaut. In the future I hope to see myself in a space suit standing in a space shuttle, and counting down to blastoff.
**there you go, all proof read and edited =)**
References :